How to Win Friends and Influence People?

What do you want to become once after you grow up? Our English teacher tossed this question to us when I was in class 5. We were about 40 in the class, about 25 said Doctor, 10 said Soldier few said they want to become Police and catch thieves. I was the odd man out to tell that “I want to become a Businessman”, Entire class turned to me leaving me in guilt, not sure what impression that created in their minds. I, myself dint know what I meant by Businessman.

Maybe the movies I had watched in TVs infused the thought in my subconscious during those days, I don’t know.

It sounds weird but it is the fact, perhaps we all strive for the same thing in our lives to create impressions. We all want to make a mark. If not in books of history at least in the hearts and minds of the people around us.

We do create impressions everywhere we been through, Whether during schooling days or college days or your working days. The people around us do remember us or start addressing us only with our deeds, with our actions. For example, you meet any of your school friends now they would have at least one instance or memory with you to share. The same goes for your college and office days too.

In our personal life or professional life, beat it’s a good deed or a misdeed we do influence people around us. Now the choice is with us whether to make a positive impact or negative. Remember people do remember you in both cases.

Of course, we humble souls want to spread positive energy everywhere we go. Well, how to create the impact that we are talking about, what it takes to create such an impact? How long does it take? How to Win Friends and Influence People?

We all have our ways, style, and techniques for doing it. But, are there widely used principles, procedures or the secret of achieving it? Probably we would get an answer to it.


Techniques in Handling People

Do not condemn, complain about anything or criticize, be honest and sincere and appreciate one. Be genuinely interested, be an active listener and be empathetic. Remembering the person’s name and pronouncing is most important, it would be the sweetest sound in any language for them. Reassure others to talk about themselves, talk in their interests, make them feel important. Nothing else will make them feel special and get interested in you. Gradually you can persuade them to think in your way.

Never get into argument on anything, the only way to get out of an argument is to avoid it. Respect the opinions of another person, do not prove them wrong, if it’s your mistake admit it sincerely.

Try this–

Consider other person’s ideas, dramatize your ideas, Begin the conversation with an honest appreciation, Attend their mistakes indirectly. Never disclose or talk in public about the mistakes of anyone. Criticize privately and appreciate publically. Talk about your own mistake with an example.

The first step in influencing is being sympathetic, putting yourself into another person’s shoes is all that it needs. You will achieve your result if you try a combination of communication and interpersonal skills. Creating rapport is another important aspect of the process of influencing people. One would judge us with the words we do use in a conversation. If we are being influenced by great orators like Barak Obama or Narendra Modi it is because of their words, their oration. Another person would get persuaded quickly with your speech.

Being relaxed, Being calm and patient in any circumstances influences immensely the people around. Whether you are a leader or a team player having a hold on temper is most essential. What is your view about former Indian cricket team captain Mahendra Singh Dhoni? He is known as captain cool.

The manifestation of mind is another technique which one is supposed to master. When you fine-tune your mind and thoughts to act accordingly in any situation is what it takes. Never get overwhelmed or frustrated with a result whether it is positive or negative. Having self-control, to be understanding and forgiving is a must.

The art of influencing skill doesn’t come by birth it has to be developed gradually, invest your time for it, there are many ways and sources to help you to develop it. Be aware of yourself, watch your thoughts, watch your body language, Trust your intuition. Set the examples to let people start considering you as an ideal person. Great leaders don’t command; They inspire they encourage and persuade. Whether you are a student, working professional or a family man engages with everyone around, create engagement, educate and organize. When you are an odd man out that’s when people start watching you for the first time, if you are one among the crowd the chances are lesser.

Another most important factor in the process of developing influential skills is dressing – The dressing style we will have the style makes an impact. Be aware of the program you are going to attend or the plans you have for the day and dress accordingly because people are watching you. That doesn’t mean you must wear branded clothes and use branded accessories, it means being neat and tidy.

Well, This is applicable when we are with people physically but is it possible to influence one without their contact? Without out face to face interaction or a meet?

Yes, it is possible to influence one remotely. Through your lifestyle, through your practices and your message. We have been influenced and follow a lot many great people around us though we wouldn’t even have met them Why? Yes, because of their lifestyle, their practices and their message to us. When one has a great influential lifestyle it would indeed impress everybody. A great lifestyle doesn’t mean having a big bungalow, luxury cars, and huge bank balances but leading a great life though not having these or leading a simple life through having these. The routine we follow the food style, social activities all these counts.

The lifestyle we follow the example we set to the society may be virtually through your social media like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. would also matter a lot because the followers or the people in your contact list will have a close look on the message, images, videos, thoughts or the information you share on these platforms.

I Hope this article How to win friends and influence People was worth reading.

What’s your influencing technique? Share it with us.

Also read: Wedding – Every girl’s dream of a life-time

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